Negotiating for a family member as an occupation

Previously, I shared with you my story about taking my 95-year-old mom to a clinic.

The doctor wanted to place my mom’s foot in a cast to fix her fifth toe fracture. I was against his offer. I was worried she wouldn’t be able to walk safely. Responding to me, the doctor suggested that my mother be hospitalized. I didn’t accept his suggestion but I asked him to stabilize my mother’s foot with a metal bar and bandages. Finally, the doctor accepted my idea. My mother managed to walk steadily and continued her daily life. Her fracture healed. Our doctor accepted my suggestion and my mom could walk safely. He supported me and my mother to promote her health and wellbeing.

On a different note,

Do you take your family members to a clinic?

Whom do you see a doctor for?

What do you talk about and how do you talk to the doctor?

Today I will share with you a view of negotiating for a family member as an occupation from theses angles:

the form of negotiating for a family member as an occupation,

the function of the occupation,

and the meaning of the occupation.

To look at negotiating for a family member in a big occupational picture, let’s imagine my experience of negotiating for my mother. We will also look into my situation and challenges that the environment gave me.

Negotiating for a family member as an occupation

Situation:　My 95-year-old mother fell and complained about severe pain in her right foot. So, I took her to an orthopedic clinic.　She was diagnosed with a fifth toe fracture. The doctor said he will cast her right foot over her ankle. I negotiated about her treatment with her doctor.

Challenge:　My environmental challenge was my mother’s fracture and her treatment.

The doctor and I didn’t agree about the treatment plan of my mother’s fracture. I negotiated with him to reach a good treatment plan.

The form of the occupation:

I took my mother to a clinic and talked about what happened to her.

Based on the diagnosis, the doctor suggested to cast her foot over the ankle.

I asked him if my mother can walk safely if she got casted. She has already fallen many times.

Then he recommended hospitalization for my mom.

But I wanted to avoid hospitalization for my mom. Her previous hospitalization causes mental confusion and other problems which led to a longer stay in the hospital.

I refused his recommendation. Then I asked him to use another treatment- fixing her right foot with a metal bar and bandages.

The doctor contemplated for a while but finally he accepted my suggestion and fixed my mom’s foot with bandages. My mom walked steadily enough and continued her happy life. Eventually, her fracture healed. We appreciate the doctor’s support. My mom was able to live normally.

The Function of the occupation:

To find a good treatment I started negotiating with the doctor.

In the negotiation, I asked about his suggestion for my mom and asserted what my mom needed.　I disagreed with his suggestion and asserted politely my idea. I explained as best as I could. I wanted him to understand that a normal life is important for my mom. I would like him to try the treatment I suggested.

While negotiating with the doctor, he understood that my mom easily falls and it’s hard for her to walk safely if she is casted. When he recommended my mom to be hospitalized, he understood that we didn’t need it. Then he understood that the family wanted the mom to walk steadily and proposed the simple treatment. Although that was different from what he first suggested, he accepted the family’s suggestion and fixed her foot accordingly.

As the result of negotiating, the both sides reached a treatment plan that they were satisfied with. While the mom had treatment, she also continued her normal life as we wanted.

This negotiation supported the doctor to understand what kind situation the fragile old person is in and he listens to the family’s need and suggestion. As the result, they reached to a treatment plan the family needed. The doctor supported the elder to promote her health and wellbeing.

The Meaning of the occupation: The purpose of my negotiation with the doctor was to protect my mom’s health and wellbeing. I knew well about my mom’s condition. I easily imagined that my mom would walk unsteadily if she got casted and she would fall easily. I also easily imagined that she would lose a normal life if she gets hospitalized. The purpose of my negotiation with the doctor is to get her treatment which helps her to walk steadily enough.

It's difficult for the client’s family to be against the doctor, to be suspicious with their suggestions and to have a different idea from his. But I couldn’t accept the doctor’s suggestions. I wanted the doctor to understand my mom’s condition and to give her a treatment fitting our needs. While negotiating with the doctor, I came to trust him and I decided to give it a try. I suggested him a treatment plan using a metal bar and bandages, different from what he first suggested. I had nothing else to deal with our challenge.